5 Men to Spot Out and Avoid Dating
There are 5 men to spot out and avoid dating. Sure there are more than 5 but in an attempt to keep this article tight, I’m going to drill down to 5. For the guys who are reading this, relax. There’s a list of 5 women to spot out and avoid. I pride myself on being fair to both sexes. Just because I am a woman doesn’t mean I’m a feminist man-hater. I’m not. I adore men. I find their thinking fascinating and in many ways I am quite masculine. I tolerate zero bullsh!t. I’m not a pleaser. I’m direct. I also know when to avoid fighting with idiots. These are qualities typically common in men. Because I pay attention to men, the things they do and say, I bring you this list of 5 men to spot out and avoid dating. I am giving you exactly how to spot them, what to ask them so you get to the facts and can walk away early. Here we go.
1. The Social Media Lurker
The social media lurker is the guy who doesn’t have any relationship status, doesn’t really post on your threads, likes 50 of your pictures and direct messages you out of nowhere. He is probably doing this with 5 other women and all he’s after is a time sucking ego boost. He probably lives far and may be married or in a relationship. Block delete him and spare yourself the time wasting. Curate a network of Facebook friends who will add to your conversations. If someone is interested in you romantically they will ask to take things off of Facebook so you can actually meet face to face. The longer it takes a man to meet you face to face, the more shady he is and the bigger waste of time he will be. Move along and do not entertain the social media lurker. The only women who do are weak attention seekers. Busy women who know what they want don’t have time to engage with lurkers and know it will go nowhere fast.
2. The Psycho Self Saboteur
The self saboteur is the guy who starts out strong. He’s a total gentleman. He says and does all the right things and for two weeks you are floating on a cloud. Then, one night he gets drunk, starts blowing up your phone and when you don’t answer because you are at the movies with your phone on silent, he freaks out. The movie ends, you check your phone only to find 10 texts and 3 voice mails all from him.
“Im so wasted wer ru?”
“Why arnt u txtin me bk?”
“Ineed 2 c u”
“WHERE ARE YOU?”
“ok whatevr ur prob fking that dude from your job”
Then you check your voice mail only to hear slurred words, begging followed by insults. The psycho self saboteur is dangerous! If you tolerate this display of mess he will take you for a roller coaster ride of dysfunction. As the late, great Maya Angelou said, “when people show you who they are believe them.” For whatever reason this guy is insecure and feels unworthy of a good thing so, he screws it up then expects the woman in his life to accept the screw up. Then he does it over and over. Run.
3. The Mommas Boy
There is a HUGE myth that women have bought into. “Look at how a man treats his mother and that will show you how he’ll treat you.” While there is truth to this, women need to take it further. “Look at how a man treats YOU when you’re in front of his mother. Does he put you first? Is mom the third wheel or are you? Are you his princess while momma the Queen?” When thinking long-term commitment you want a man who puts himself first, you second, the dog third and then his momma. Yes that’s right. Your life together comes before all else. Any man who can’t hack that is a mommas boy, plain and simple. There comes a point in an adult’s life when they break free, set boundaries with parents and begin to understand that their spouse will walk beside him through life, not their momma. You’ll spot out a mommas boy by the amount of obligations and responsibilities he takes on for her. How far does he live from his momma? 10 minutes? 2 hours? 2 hours by airplane? A man who requires a physical distance between he and his momma is a catch. A man who seems to juggle you and his momma is trying to please both of you. Ultimately he’ll reach a breaking point and will leave his momma and you. Avoid the momma’s boy.
4. The Egomaniac
The egomaniac is on the list of 5 men to spot out and avoid dating because he’s exhausting. It’s like being with an 8 year old kid all the time. Constantly. He wants 100% of your effort and attention on him 100% of the time. It is all about him, his career, his future (whether your in it or not), his body, his health, his friends, his interests. He calls the shots and you’re just along for the ride. He only asks you for your opinion to justify why his is better. They aren’t interested in a partnership at all. They sell you on a false partnership and manipulate you into believing the better he does, the better you do. He’s the star of both your lives. Your dreams will fall by the wayside. You are there to serve him. Which leads me to…
5. The Briber
He’s charming, he’s got money and believes that he can bribe someone to love him. It’s pathetic and sad. He looks at you as a conquest, someone to get. You’re flattered by the fact that this affluent man is chasing you. However, something deep in your gut sees the truth so you pass on his invitations. You find him repulsively obnoxious. He’s not your type. However, he doesn’t let up. He weaves his way into your circles and one day, you cave in. He pulls out all the stops and serves up the most perfect date you’ve ever been on. One date turns into a whirlwind that manipulates and bribes you with the vision of the life you can have with him (big house, no financial worries ever again). You end up married to the briber and you then get used to the cushy lifestyle he provides you. So, you let his total disrespect slide. You make excuses for him and start to serve as his wife and his PR person living to smooth over the damage his mouth leaves behind. The more you do this, the more of value you are to him and the more of a sell out your are to yourself. You’re trapped. Your big bathrooms and 800 square foot walk in closet will never hide the truth of what your deepest pit of your soul knows. You’re lying to yourself and he knows it and doesn’t care because he got what he wanted. You. Right where he wants you, serving him. Make your own money and never allow someone to steal your dreams. When you marry for money, (convincing yourself it’s love) you will earn every penny and your soul will be bankrupt.
Lisa Concepcion is a marketing consultant based in Miami, Florida. She blogs about love, life and business and has a video blog on YouTube. Follow Lisa @lisatakesmiami on Twitter @Lisa_Concepcion on Instagram.