Can A Whirlwind Romance Turn Into Forever
Ok so you meet someone. They come at you in a way that blows your hair back, way back. They aren’t like anyone you’ve ever connected with before. It’s as if the divine universe sent them here just for you at exactly the right moment. You just know that this is something worth your effort and you go all in. You see each other every day and you bond more and more. The conversation flows and it’s as if all of life’s problems will be solved because this person showed up in your life. It’s a bonafide whirlwind romance. But, can a whirlwind romance turn into forever? Or, is it just a match strike to a stick of dynamite that will end with a messy explosion and and aftermath of damage and debris? Well if you’re smart, there’s a way to enjoy the benefits of a whirlwind romance without getting sucked up and spit out in an F5 tornado of emotion.
Want your whirlwind romance to blossom into more? Consider these points.
Enjoy yourself. It’s new!
Maybe you’ve been through hell and back and your past relationship left you heartbroken yet wise and 100% clear on what you want. You deserve to be loved and you believe so in every cell of your being. Let the person shower you with attention and affection. Nothing wrong with enjoying yourself and embracing the excitement and newness of a hot whirlwind romance. Look at it this way, if the relationship takes flight and you’re together 1, 5, 15 years from now, the whirlwind romance phase is the time you’ll reflect on with love.
Keep a Level Head
While it’s nice and ego pleasing to have the affections of someone you really like, in a whirlwind romance it is important to keep a level head. Stay in the moment and pay close attention to what is said and what is revealed. The key here is to be confident knowing what you want and exactly what you’re looking for. A level head, keeps you in the present moment. It keeps you sharp. Whirlwind romances throw you off as they are an endorphin charged amusement park with cotton candy for the ego. You must have the confidence and clarity to balance your desire of being treated as a Queen with the reality of a peasant. It’s typically impossible to operate at whirlwind levels for long. Whirlwind romances require effort, creativity and of course, endless flow of money –unless you’re 16.
Gather and Share Information
Whirlwind romances offer a wonderful opportunity to get to know someone quickly. As questions and let them ask questions of you. Gather and share information and enjoy getting to know someone new and let them get to know you. Pay close attention to what is revealed. Commit to being open and honest in your fact finding.
Handle all the hard topics while there’s that newness. Money, sex, family, siblings, career, ambitions, failures, traumas, successes, talk about all of that stuff. You can always continue to make out in between. Some experts suggest holding back and not revealing all. I say time is precious. Be honest! You’ll soon see if they are all in or if they bounce.
Over time the more invested you are, the harder those conversations become. When it’s a whirlwind romance, you’re just so into the person you want to know everything about them. Notice how they communicate. Are they asking questions? Or, are they just into the physical or focused on activities and fun? When there’s substance, there’s a better shot a whirlwind romance can turn into a long term solid relationship.
Keep It Private
You want to brine the meat before just throwing it on the grill. The patience makes it better. You don’t want to be posting your every move together on social media. Give it a season, 90 days. Be vague in your posts. You’re enjoying yourself. You’re with a guy. The whirlwind could be here today and gone tomorrow. If you see that three months later the initial bonfire has settled into a nice steady consistent flame, then decide, as a couple, how much you’ll share with the outside world. My rule when it comes to effective use of social media by couples is pretty succinct. Report the news not the drama. You want to post a great pic of you both having fun together? Great! Keep it positive and light. No need to stir up any drama and air dirty laundry. Use this early stage as a way to show you can temper enthusiasm with common sense.
Keep Your Feelings In Check and Be Real With Yourself
You have to do inventory daily. Check your feelings. Understand where you are in life. Get real about it. If you’re getting over someone else, understand that it is absolutely possible that this new person has opened your eyes to your worth. They appreciate you. The other person didn’t. This new person can’t get enough of you. The other person walked away. When they say you’re wonderful, sexy, smart etcetera it’s like you were walking through an emotional desert and they handed you a tall cold glass of water. Acknowledge it’s a whirlwind romance and although you absolutely love it, accept the fact that this party will eventually end. When it does, if you navigated whirlwind phase with a healthy combination of logic and emotion, then you can open the gate to another level to the relationship.
Can a whirlwind romance turn into forever? Sure! Maybe! Hell no! All answers are accurate. Ultimately it depends on the two people involved and the mindset they’re in.
Lisa Concepcion is the founder of LoveQuest Marketing, a personal development firm that applies proven marketing techniques and tactics to teach people how to find, give and keep love. Based in Miami, Florida Lisa is a self proclaimed “Love Strategist” writing and speaking on the topic of dating and relationships. Connect with Lisa via Facebook and Twitter @lisatakesmiami .