Lisa Concepcion Blog

Lisa Concepcion Blog

Casual Sex Sucks Your Soul

woman legs in bed

It needs to be said and I speak from experience here; casual sex sucks your soul. You want love? I’m talking deep, connected, soulful, full on, love? Then abstain. No sex. That’s right. Take a vow of celibacy and watch how the universe rewards you. Here’s what I did and yes; the universe has rewarded me. As a “love strategist,” people ask me for advice on what they must do to find, give and keep love. I share what worked for me.

Spiritual Practice Helps

First and foremost, I learned that I needed a spiritual practice. We all do. Anyone who is kicking major ass in life has some sort of spiritual practice they are committed to every day. I practice Kabbalah. I was invited to the Kabbalah center in Miami by a friend. I read books by Kabbalah’s spiritual leaders, Karen Berg, Rav Berg, and Michael Berg. I liked the message. Kabbalah means to receive; specifically light and divine blessings. To receive we must share and Kabbalah is big on sharing. The practice requires one to look deep inside, get real about the choices made in life and take total responsibility. I took Kabbalah 1, 2 and 3 and continue to attend the weekly Zohar connection, the monthly full moon connection, plus other lectures. It’s changed my life tremendously. It’s work. It leads to a shift in consciousness and it allows us to manifest blessings that the divine already has preordained for us. It forces us to love ourselves fully and completely so we can receive exactly what we need to further elevate our souls in this lifetime.

The Power and Purpose of Women

Women are spiritually elevated. Women (who choose to) carry the soul in a fetus form to term. Women birth babies. They bring life into the physical world. Karen Berg’s book, God Wears Lipstick elaborates on the soul in female form. 

I have spoken to other people at the Kabbalah center who have been practicing Kabbalah for 10, 20 years. An older Jewish woman told me that when a soul comes to this world in woman form, it’s elevated. She’s here to elevate the soul that is in this physical world as a man. Now while Kabbalah is based on old testament teachings of the Torah, it’s not a spiritual practice exclusive to Jewish people. Yet, there are customary rituals and events throughout the year where women are running the spiritual show. Women are in charge of the light that enters the home. They light the candles, they are in charge of preparation of holy meals. The men are at synagogue praying all day. It’s not that the men are sexist and keep the women out. It’s just that they need to pray more.

This older, wiser woman told me that a woman is spiritually vulnerable especially when she’s alone. Every man she has sex with, if done casually without the intention to love and commit; leaves behind debris that clouds her soul and robs her light. This blocks blessings. In addition, the type of guy sticks to the woman’s soul causing her to attract the same kind of guy over and over. Unless she puts an end to this, true love will elude her.

BOLD MOVE… A VOW OF CELIBACY

In my case I decided to take a vow of celibacy. I had come out of a 7 month relationship that I knew didn’t have a future but it served a purpose. It showed me I am better and more at peace when I am committed to one person. At 44 years old, I’m not interested in having a revolving door at my bedroom. Deep down my gut, my divine inner voice spoke to me. Kabbalah teaches us how to listen to that voice and get even more messages from the universe. My voice said, “Lis, hold out for love and it will happen.” That was it. I decided, no sex with anyone unless they were someone I knew I could love and that they could love me.

No more mistaking the lust vibe for the love vibe. No more operating with ego. After a month, I met a man who came at me as a friend with sincerity and genuine goodness. Trust was established quickly. It was a soulful connection plain and simple. No games. No B.S. Just us deciding to take friendship to a romantic level. Now we’re committed and we’re happy. It’s the real deal.

WASH AWAY PAST CONQUESTS and ALL NEGATIVITY

Now the divine always has light to give if we seek it. So there are things you can do to wash way negativity. I do a Mikveh (Mick -vah) weekly to cleanse me from expressed anger, ego driven thoughts, and just any incoming or outgoing dark trash that blocks blessings. A Mikveh is a ritual asking for the creator to cleanse negativity and bless you. Then you submerge yourself in water with feet not touching the bottom. In my case, I live on South Beach, in Miami Florida so I have the glory of doing my Mikveh in “live” natural water which is optimal.

I suggest anyone who has been single and engaged in casual sex (sex that didn’t result in a loving committed relationship), scores the book Dialing God and finds either a lake, beach or pool and cleanse themselves.

Raise the Standard on Self Love

I’d imagine getting a bunch of comments from people in favor of what I call “potato chip sex.” It’s sex that satisfies the ego but not the soul. It’s over before it starts and seems like a blur. Then, onto the next. This damages the soul. Hold out for greatness! You are worth it. Your beautiful perfect soul is worth it. Oh and here’s the best part, when you make bold declarations and take bold actions that are congruent with your words, the universe takes notice. Blessings come.

You don’t need to have sex to validate yourself. You’re a person of value and your body should be given to someone who can appreciate that value. There’s sex for release and then there’s sex as an expression of love. Anything done to satisfy ego isn’t enduring. Saying that every person you sleep with only brings you closer to the one is an excuse that condones neglecting your soul. Don’t allow the distraction of casual sex that only sucks your soul preventing true love from finding you. Look inside and commit to working on yourself. If you can’t commit to yourself no one else will. Restrict to receive the best blessings. Trust me. It’s worth it.

Lisa Concepcion is the founder of LoveQuest Marketing, a personal development firm that applies proven marketing techniques and tactics to teach people how to find, give and keep love. Based in Miami, Florida; Lisa is a self proclaimed “Love Strategist” who offers group workshops, one-on-one sessions and writes and speaks on the topic of dating, relationships and individual betterment. Connect with Lisa via Facebook and Twitter @lisatakesmiami

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4 Comments

  • Aurea| June 9, 2015 at 6:04 amReply

    I’d must check with you here. That is not something I generally do! I appreciate reading a post that may make folks believe. Also, thanks for allowing me to comment!

  • Alissa| June 6, 2015 at 10:45 amReply

    Total bullshit. Casual sex can be empowering. If you guilt about it, it’s because you are insecure. Stop buying into the stereotype that women must be prudes. They can take control of their own sexuality and casual sex is certainly part of it. Grow up.

    • Robert| June 6, 2015 at 7:36 pmReply

      HI Mr. Good bar (a/k/a “Alissa”) –

      Not sure which guy pissed into your Cheerios to give you the slash and burn approach you have with guys. Uh, yeah…your veil cloak of being liberal and empowered is pretty see through in that you just want a little payback for what some Thessolonian did to you (read the chapters as Paul wrote some letters to those morons that may help you out). You assume guys want to be trashed by a woman with your set of beliefs, which you probably think are “skills” of some sort.

      I think you should keep a journal. Write down all the names of the men you have your guiltless and empowering encounters. Be detailed as to what you did and how powerful you felt with each one before and, especially, after; I believe that the latter will be more telling to you when you have the time to go back and read it all later. Maybe you’ll read it after you get married and decide to propogate the species (please don’t think of doing this now as I’m pretty sure anyone will agree that maybe your mindset and genetic code should probably start and end with you until you sort yourself out a bit). By then we would hope that if you have a girl you will know what NOT to encourage and if you have a boy…same thing.

      If you’re able to contain your rants to me then by all means indulge yourself…intelligent and succinct, though. Okay? Better to be quiet and look dumb, than to speak/write and confirm it.

      If not just do your thing when you hear your go-time phrase of “And now, next on the stage is…”

    • Lisa| June 6, 2015 at 11:06 amReply

      Value yourself. We get the love we accept. Casual sex is ego based. Be empowered for finding soulful connected love not for mediocrity. Commit to yourself and get the best love you truly deserve. Love and light my dear Alissa. As always I appreciate your attention.

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