Declare What You Want In A Relationship
I cannot stress how important it is for you to get 100% clarity on what it is you want out of a relationship. I’m amazed at how many people don’t know. I mean really know. They haven’t done the deeper dive with themselves. Not only is it important to get clear and honest with yourself, it is important to declare what you want in a relationship. Now here’s the trick. You don’t have to share the details with anyone. It’s a secret between you and the universe. When you understand yourself, what you truly need and make ZERO apologies for it; the universe responds. Grab a pen and a notebook. Answer these questions honestly. You will start to map out exactly who you are and the kind of person who will be a good, healthy match for you.
Question 1: Where do you want to live; the country, by the beach, a busy city, a suburb and why?
Think of your life in 5 years. Where are you living? How are you living? If you don’t think about these things, you will float around in life. You’ll wake up 5 years from now stagnant. Or worse, you’ll be in the midst of a total upheaval with chaos because the universe doesn’t like it when we are stagnant. When we are stagnant we don’t grow and our creator will shake things up in our lives to see to it that we’re moving. So start dreaming, planning and taking action. This forward thinking is what helps you decide the kind of person you want by your side. So close your eyes and think of yourself 5 years from now. Look at your surroundings. Write that down. What you write; you manifest. I’ll share mine. In 5 years I’m living in a house. It’s spacious, not a huge mansion but it’s the biggest home I ever lived in. When I am walking around my future house, it feels about 3000 square feet. It’s big enough to feel good in but small enough to feel cozy in. There’s a guest bedroom, an office, a gym, and a master suite. It’s in a suburb. There’s a pool with very high hedges so I can sunbathe and swim nude. I have my dog, by then he’s 9 and despite not having kids, my home is often busy. My husband and I entertain. Yes, I said “my husband.” Five years from now, I’m married for the second time. This leads me to…
Question 2: What kind of lifestyle do you have? Are you working? How much?
Well, clearly I’m with someone who can afford to be in a 3000 square foot home. I live in Miami and like it here because of the warm weather and Miami isn’t cheap. I’m most definitely working but unlike in my 20’s and 30’s; I’m doing something I absolutely love. I’m helping people better themselves and create strong healthy relationships and becoming well-known for it. My career has me back and forth from Miami to New York and Los Angeles. I’m often asked to speak at events and appear on TV so I am traveling. However, I make sure that I’m never away for more than 2 days in a row. My husband and I made this agreement. Sometimes he’ll come with me to New York or LA so we can also see my parents and his daughters who live there.
Are you seeing how each question helps you discover what you want out of life? You can start to envision the kind of person who would be on board for the life you want? Sure there will be compromise, but living in the present with vision of the future is important. You need to get clear on that vision for yourself. It will help you weed out people who aren’t aligned with your fantastic future. Which leads to…
Question 3: What’s the money situation like? Are you the breadwinner? Are you making more or less than your partner?
Of course in a perfect world in 5 years I’d love to be a millionaire on my way to being a multimillionaire. I’ll have a successful business. My husband will be highly respected in his career and we help each other however way possible. We have all of the priorities handled. We live in a nice home, our families are cared for and are doing well, all of the important things are secure. Finally there’s a flow. In 5 years, I’m 49 and finally, I’m not freaking out about money. It just comes. I’m not insecure about my career; it’s happening. Opportunity finds me and on and on it goes. I’m blessed, lucky and very much in love with a wonderful man who has my back and I have his. We have a blast together. There’s mutual respect and great care. When we first got together, he made more than I, a lot more. Then, two years into my business things just clicked for me. My self promotion paid off when someone from O, The Oprah Magazine saw my blog and asked me to contribute, that led to more speaking engagements and a meeting with Oprah herself. She liked my chutzpah and NY no BS tone and offered me a show and a book deal. When Oprah waves her magic wand on people she likes, big things happen.
Important note… it’s important to DREAM BIG and SET BIG GOALS. This is about figuring out your ideal life, putting it out there to the universe and then working like all hell to make it happen. Just be open to the divine. We make plans. The universe has better ones for us. Trust it.
Review and draw conclusions.
Start to connect the dots. Given the kind of life you want to create begin to make declarations about what you want in a partner. What are your deal breakers? What does this person do for work? How available are they? Are they religious? Spiritual? Creative? Corporate? Dig in and get clear. We all have the power to create greatness for ourselves. Live life as a creator, not a spectator. Once we value ourselves and really believe we deserve abundance for the purpose of sharing; the universe responds. Get very clear on what you want then take action. Have faith. A great life is yours to create.
Lisa Concepcion is the founder of LoveQuest Marketing, a personal development firm that applies proven marketing techniques and tactics to teach people how to find, give and keep love. Based in Miami, Florida; Lisa is a self proclaimed “Love Strategist” who offers group workshops, one-on-one sessions and writes and speaks on the topic of dating, relationships and individual betterment. Connect with Lisa via Facebook and Twitter @lisatakesmiami